yellow flicker beat ~ lorde

yellow flicker beat ~ lorde, 2014


what i learnt from the girl with the dragon tattoo movie.

i was reading a fellow bloggers post the other day, on horror movies and mental health. the gist i got was, do horror movies assist with mental health issues or have the opposite. and of course everyone is different.

it got me thinking though. as it does.

i’ve written about ‘the girl with the dragon tattoo’ a few times throughout my blog and specifically made reference to the retaliatory rape scene. but there are lots of points throughout the movie that i’ve watched and rewatched and when i need a reminder of who and what i am, i watch again.

the main actress, lisbeth (movie name) is what they call in the movie, ‘different in every way’. this i can relate too. with a life that is befitting its very own horror movie, she is resilient and resourceful to name but a few qualities i admire. whilst the status quo would deem her outworking of said qualities, as a little dubious to say the least; i find every inch of her reactions, measured, stealth and wholly fitting as a answer to the madness done to her.

it poses for me a question however.

why is it, that our society sees a retaliatory action to rape and abuse, especially from a female, as being OTT and angry when every little piece of the reaction is warranted in every way?

are we afraid of women that are angry?

are we afraid of their retaliation to the things that they suffer?

i think we are.

which leads me to believe that those that abuse know exactly the harm that they are causing.

and if this is the case, why aren’t we concerned about those that do the harming instead of those that react to the harm caused to them?

is it easier to be concerned, or reprimand a dignified reaction, than it is to stop those that cause the harm?

i think it is.

throughout this movie there are multiple occasions where the brilliance and resilience are mind blowing really. personally i think it should be a ‘how-to’ movie for children. we teach our children generally, to be trusting and caring and to not ask to many questions or retaliate or to be angry. but we forget to teach them to trust their instincts and not to just trust willy-nilly. trust is earned and the gutt will always let us know whether a person is worthy of that trust or not.

anyway. just my thoughts. take from it what you will.

thats it.

kpm © : ig @kpm-artist



this movie … Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close

I watched Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close last night. A 2011 movie that I seemed to have missed somewhere along the lines.

The little dude in it has an anxiety disorder – or possibly Asperger’s, not sure .. his father seems to get his groove and does all these little expedition things so he can use his big brain and he can ‘socialize’, as such.

Anyway, the father dies in the 9/11 attack and the story unfolds with this little dude coming to terms with the whole experience, in his own anxiety ridden way.

Up shot for Me … I loved the movie :) Even the title I got …

And I completely got all the little nuances of the anxiety fuelled episodes and the more clinical or ‘particular’ things that he did … having to organise and categorise shit. They did a great job of portraying those ‘things’ that happen when everything gets to loud, to bright, to close, to enclosed …

I think what I loved the most, was the responses he got from those around him. The ‘understanding’; the love and support – so he could be himself.

And his little self – I completely got that.

Very cool movie … and one I’ll be watching again soon :)

kpm ©



me & sexual violence.

As horrific as it sounds, pts(d) / sexual violence – has shaped who I am today.

Does that mean it is part of my mauri? I’m not sure … but I know its effects run deep … it’s nightmares still touch my psyche / my soul.

I’m trying to work that out – live with it – reconcile it.

It’s a bitch.

And on the really hard days, there are some things – some methods – that I have developed to help me relieve the anger – the gnawing frustration.

This is my favourite one:

And definitely not for the faint hearted. Not all those that know the reality of sexual assault / violence will appreciate this … but for Me … it fills Me with joy. Sheer, vengeful joy … that No amount of talking, explaining, acknowledging or letting go, will ever compare too.

_____ Take One Movie:

“The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”

…. Fast forward to “the girl with the dragon tattoo torture scene” … which by the way is so named as a clip on YouTube! With 92, 776 views, it just shows how relieving the whole scene can be for someone like Me ;) If you want the entire scene, whereby Lisbeth Salander tattoos “I am a Rapist Pig” on the gutts of the man who has raped her; you’ll have to peruse the archives a little more … not such a popular clip with joe blow public.

But for Me … These two clips … actually the entire movie … are immensely relieving.

I look forward to the day, that my dreams turn to a scene like these. Where it is Me that is exacting the torture; not the other way around.

kpm ©