thinkings ..

had this floating round in the grey matter for a few weeks but still find it quite difficult to string together a legible / literate sentence .. so it is what it is & will come forth as it needs to lol. proceed with caution & open mind as i have not edited of spell checked lol ;)


been watching with interest the covid unfoldings & all the fuckery thats come with it. also all the shiftings & good shit thats come from it, cos yep, theres some amazingly good shit thats come from it all ..

here NZ, we are currently in level 3 which apparently consists of ‘staying home’, working from home, schooling from home, non contact sales, limited travel .. etc .. y’all can google the rest lol.

in level 4 it was supposed to be complete shut down of everything except essentials. made for interesting pondering on what & who was actually deemed fucking essential & who was not. i watched as peeps actually devolved into psycho panic stricken toilet paper buying freaks! & realised, these cunts have no idea how to stay home! they cant cook, they cant self soothe & have no internal direction other than OUT!

& for some strange ass reason, i felt a whole lot better & a whole lot more ‘normal’. turns out im not as fucked up as i had originally thought & that psych report or not, i had more idea of how to live in this environment than the rest of the world!

well go fucken figure ay.

but as the ‘threat’ to health has apparently dissipated slightly, the freaks have become emboldened. not america type emboldened, while they feel the need to protest the right to get a fucken haircut ffs .. but emboldened as in, here, they are quite happy to return to the way things were.

the way things were?

i’ll say this for our country .. we are resourceful & humorous which gets us through a lot of BS. we are also complacent & spoilt rotten.

we believe it is our right to live as we see fit, even if it isn’t good for the planet or people of families .. if we can drink our way through anything, than a pandemic is surely it!

now i get that we all gotta cope the BS somehow. but then we gotta move. we gotta move through it or we vegetate.

& all i can see at present is a whole heap of vegetative morons who have sobered up enough to get their asses back to work so they can … make money, pay bills, make bills, drink & make more money. in between all that a few well placed thought provoking memes will do .. but substance? fuck no.

& this is my dilemma of sorts.

if the world cant learn to stay off the mouse wheel after being pushed off’ve it, then what fucking hope is there?

case in point .. 2 days before we came out of level 4, residents here received notification that the forestry block to the the east of us would be sprayed with roundup. now most residents didn’t give a fuck cos thats the kind of people they are .. google it lol .. for me, i nearly cried .. aside from the fact that that shit is poisonous af & im a swarm of immune deficiency, with a badge lol .. i couldn’t help but think of what we as a society, have done to the earth (papatuanuku) over the years .. not out of necessity, but out of greed .. & that she was just beginning to breath again & we gonna go and fuck it all up.

we just cant help ourselves!!! & when i say we, i mean them .. i dont put myself in that category cos ive diligently & thoughtfully extracted myself from those cunty practices for the better part of a couple decades.

& add to the environmental pollution, the myriad of emails & notifications i been getting about supporting local businesses.


my take on that is simple really.

if you were willing to assist me prior to the rona, in all ways i may have asked for assistance .. then i’ll continue supporting your business. if you didn’t, then you can go eat a fat one now.


anyway ..

thats just me. me & my strain of thoughts.

its an interesting time to be alive.

all in all, im fucking grateful.




yo ..

i see you.


first & foremost, this is not for victims nor survivors.


it’s not for those that can relate. it’s not a lesson in what to avoid and what should be done.

it’s not tears. it’s not rage.

it’s not for those wanting to know why. or for those that want to ‘just understand’.


this is for the infant, the toddler, the new entrant, the pre period, pre voice breaking child who will get fucked with today.

who will get fucked.

and no one will notice. Noone will say a word. Noone will do anything.

it’s for the forgotten child, the one that has repeatedly begged for it to stop, so many times they’ve given up. it’s for the child that probably won’t make it past 15. who wonders, is this all I am good for .. all my existence is about. who will go to school (but not today) and get reprimanded for a spelling error when all the can smell is rotten cum seeping out of their assholes.

this is for that child, that probably will never get to read this, and will still get fucked anyway & who will probably kill themselves before they get a chance to escape. the child who is so numb they can’t feel anything anymore.


this is for you.


and then it’s for the fuckwits who surround you and still stay fucking silent and incapacitated .. apathetic and docile.

it’s for the lame ass, couldn’t & didn’t do it, intervener. 

because you cunts are part of the poison.


& lastly, this is for the fuck face kiddyfuckers of this world, that fuck with children. because you cunts come in all shapes and sizes. you’re not all famous & belong to little rings & conspiracy theories. you’re everyday, mundane, boring little fucks whose dicks dont get hard unless your prey is small & helpless.


i see you too.


& you’ll keep cunts.

your day is coming.



kpm ©


*April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month*



3650 + 1 day/s of self isolation.

cos why not ay.

its 26 march 2020 1250.

seems like an almost morbid time to be doing this shit, but strike while the iron audience is hot, captive & listening .. thats the saying aint it ..

hmmm ..

& it won’t be all doom & gloom .. well, not my version of it .. but since i err on the side of both, y’all could be in for a thumpy ride lol ..


so, i didn’t think i’d live to see a revolution .. well, a revolution of sorts. it’s been on the cards for a long long long time, but this is some fuckery aight.

i’m thinking the powers that be hadn’t figured that this would be a re-set but more of a shift in power. but the way i see it is a shift in power is always a re-set, it depends on the individual as to whether its to their betterment or not.

its some scary shit really. & i dont mean the virus itself. people die of viruses everyday.

whats scary is the incapacity of this country to deal with something on this type of level & the snails pace in dealing with it is .. well .. complacent ?

& thats the thing with Us.

we’re a complacent self centred bunch of fucktards.

pretty much.

you know how i know?

cos we have had individuals within our society for  a very long time, who have been effectively, discounted, disregarded, forgotten, ditched & fucked. in a nutshell, we are Not ‘inclusive’. inclusivity is discussed, pondered, studied & even categorised, sure. & after the report has come out, we are still un-inclusive.

if we were inclusive, completely .. we would not be in this mess.

ponder that.

y’all got time.

so now, those that are going to need the health system are going to be failed by it .. again .. because it will become overloaded.

well, it was already overloaded.

& We were blamed for that. that we were overusing resources, that we should take better care of ourselves, that we should quit smoking & eat better food, that we should exercise more & include more celery into our diets blah de fucking blah.

but guess what. 

that wasnt the cause of this.

& it won’t be the cure.

& although ‘they’ have known for a very long time that ‘the system’ had humungous fucken gaps in it, they haven’t filled them. actually, this is the biggest fucken example of the ambulance at the bottom of the hill there ever has been .. & we’ve been existing on this shit for many years.

i guess if you can take anything from it for now .. its .. slow the fuck down. stop consuming what you dont need .. but first,  figure out what you do need.

you see overnight, someone else has decided for you, what is now essential & non-essential. You should have done that shit a very long time ago.


anyways, i’ll leave it there for now.


breathe big. breathe hearty.


#mystory #ourstory

#change #reset #breathe #nature #life #photographyislife

kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


and ..

as our little country prepares to go into lockdown within the next 30ish hours .. i am surprisingly, calm af.

be good to one another nz.

kpm ©


our kids.


tangata whenua (indigenous) make up 15% of the total population.

our kids make up 70 motherfucking % of the youth justice population.

they get used as pawns.

pushed across some unseen board.

removed & reassembled.

shredded, shifted, sifted & shat out.


you’ve proven you have No idea how to care for them.

time to give them back.




” … rua kenana,
tuhoe prophet from the uruwera …

he told his people not to go to war
let the white man fight the white man’s war … “

david grace, 1992

#brownfacts 👊🏾



in a hand basket?

yah know that saying … “something something, hell, something, in a hand basket?”

yeah well its actually (after aunty google’ising) : ‘to hell in a hand basket’, meaning somethings turning into shit faster than expected (my interpretation) …

& where was i going with that …

oh yeah … NZ is in the hand basket, on its why to hell.


after ‘the events which transpired last week’ aka, after the mass shooting / terrorism attack by a white supremacist which left 49 people dead … the country is reeling.

seriously. reeling.

but not as you’d think: from my point of view anyways.

reasoning, denial, tokenism & of course, blame, is all settling in.

& i’m tired.

kpm ©


“nz is racist AF.”

so says our bro taika waititi.

so, this happened today.

headline: forty-nine dead in mosque mass shooting.

& let the blame games begin.

am i surprised this has happened in clean green new zealand?

fuck No.

& this is all i had to say about that:

“yep ill say it:

this is exactly what NZ is. there is a part of the population that is awake, aware & not racist AF … but the time for letting the other part of the population, that are as racist AF, get away with their racist little snide remarks & their openly cowardice actions … yeah that time was way the fuck over years ago. this is not the first time this soil has seen a ‘culture’ decimated by white men. & today is a wake up call. 

this is not about religion or even politics IMO. its about the notion of superiority. in this case, white superiority. which we all know is some bullshit.

y’all need to get your ‘culture’ in check.”

kpm ©



dragons and demons ~ herbs

dragons and demons – herbs, 1981

a child prostitute

How is that even a thing,

I wonder.

As I watch them come and go.

I see their ‘baby on board’ stickers

In their rear windows.

And who do they pick up?

You look no more than eleven.

Are you eleven,

or younger?

I feel disgust for those leeches.

Those scum infested bastards.

But you leave with them,

And return in 10 minutes.

How is it that you have to be here?

Why do you go with them?

Yes I know the answer.

But all the answer does not lie with you.

They said on the News;

“What should we be doing about the child prostitution issue”.

It’s an issue?


it’s a fucking abomination!

A shame on this nation!

A child,

a prostitute.

Your ‘clients’ are rapist pigs.

They are not clients.

Your job is not a job.

It isn’t a well thought out career pathway.

It’s cunty pedos cashing in on your silence.

Your need.

Your vulnerability.

I hate them for you!!

I told you so,

When you wouldn’t come with me.

I told you so,

As you huffed your poison and rolled your little eyes.

I told you I would hate them for you,

And I do!

I’ll fix it if it takes me forever

I’ll fix it.

So you can braid your hair

And get your nails did

So you can eat your lunch at school

And you can sleep between Dora Explorer sheets.

I’ll fix it

I’ll keep hating them

Until I fix it.

kpm ©


on : dead funeral stuff

Yes, it seems a little morbid, but after recent events and conversations I decided to take matters into my own hands, and plan ahead. Properly.

After a little research I found out the following (for our country anyways) … this is ‘my’ interpreted version:

  • A will doesn’t need to be done with a lawyer, it just needs to be written and witnessed by 2 people who won’t get anything out of it; the will that is.
  • You can’t bury on private land unless you have a shitload of permits.
  • Burying in a cemetery also takes a shitload of permits.
  • Why be buried with a shit tonne of people you don’t know, especially when you hardly liked people when you were alive?
  • The funeral industry is just that; an industry. They’ll make a buck off’ve anything.
  • A service is held for customary reasons. There’s no real necessity in it.
  • You don’t need a casket to be buried in, or cremated in.
  • You don’t need to be embalmed.
  • You don’t need to be cut up unless you died some heinous way and they want to poke around and find the cause of death.
  • If you get buried in non-biodegradable shit (including the box), that shit lingers and leeches into the earth.
  • An urn is a waste of money. A jar will do.
  • The cheapest way to go is cremation; but that still costs a shit tonne of money. I think the Vikings had the right idea.
  • It’s still possible to be buried at sea, but again, you need a shit tonne of permits.
  • Even a natural burial here, has regulations re: planting, depth of burial, buying a plot.
  • It’ll cost you a small fortune to transport the body and hire a mortician peep, but when fams are grieving, that’s the last thing they’re worried about.
  • Apparently you can get some death grant to help with expenses. How nice of them.
  • A cemetery is still Council / Crown owned. And has regulations.
  • Memorials, headstones and plinths also cost an immoral amount of money.
  • When you’re dead, You’re dead.

kpm ©



photography .159


#beach_life #island_life #tangaroa #photography #photographer #kpm©

kpm ©



& as our 2 faced country prepares their vigils for the young life murdered & hear the cries of ‘violence against women & girls isn’t acceptable anytime or anywhere’ : i wonder, will we ever really learn? will we ever really really give a shit about the violence perpetrated against women & children in our little country? will we give a shit enough, to actually do something about it? because this shit is Not new & is an epidemic.

but one we seem to tolerate, until it happens where we can’t just ditch that shit so no-one else will ever see it.




Watch the stars – we navigate points of light in the dark

An artist of many forms. Huka speaks of all the things that are near and dear to Me.

For More of their writings and art, please visit “huka can haka”.


“Whakapapa helps Māori people keep memories alive over aeons, through practices of re-storying our lives. Through whakapapa, I am always able to locate myself at the core of my accumulated experiences, even though at times I can feel fragmented and disoriented. Whakapapa resists marginalisation and centres identity, because I can see the ‘today’ of my life through the lens of many generations – I can see the bigger picture. Te Ātiawa, Ngāti Māhanga and Ngāti Māhanga ā Tairi activist and social theorist Leonie Pihama asserts whakapapa as an analytic tool, employed by Māori to understand how we relate in the world . Whakapapa connects Māori to every aspect of existence – when I make art I use whakapapa to re-image lived experiences of marginality many different (but also the same) globalised contexts.”

huka can haka

Whakapapa is generally translated as genealogy, although can be understood in many different ways. Whakapapa can mean to lie flat, to place in layers, to recite in order; or considered in parts as ‘whaka’ – cause to be, to become; and ‘papa’ which can mean – the Earth, or anything broad flat and hard. In te reo Māori ’papa’ has many meanings associated with ideas of ground, site and layer. Papatūānuku, often shortened to Papa, is the female personification of Earth. The word ‘kaupapa’ can mean the woven foundation for a cloak and has the figurative meaning of a platform or purpose. ‘Whakapapa’ has a literal meaning of placing things in layers. That extends figuratively to reciting genealogical links in their proper order and from there to the word for ‘genealogy’.

Whakapapa is a critical cultural foundation for understanding who you are, where you come from, where and who…

View original post 2,180 more words


featured artist: Darcy Nicholas

Darcy Nicholas is a Contemporary Maori Artist from Aotearoa (New Zealand). His artistry, I would describe as indigenous and deeply personal.

Described as: “Born in Waitara, Taranaki, New Zealand – Darcy Nicholas has been actively involved in the contemporary Maori art movement since the late 1960’s. He has exhibited throughout New Zealand, Australia, Africa, United States, France, India, Britain, Germany, Netherlands, and Canada.”

To find more of his Artistry please go to:

(video via YouTube)

kpm ©



“Pakeha Anger: Why Do They get Mad at Maori?”

Cognitive Dissonance succinctly explained.

For More Please Visit:

Exploring the depths of the Maori Experience

So on one beautiful Sunday arvo in downtown Auckland, I was out having a couple of catch-up beers with the cuz, when we unexpectedly got talking to a Pakeha, let’s call him Joe. In his late thirties, living in a predominantly Pakeha populated, small town in Southland, Joe has worked hard his whole life, made a decent way for himself and his family, which forms his philosophy and worldview towards living – work hard and reap the rewards. And so, according to Joe and his life philosophy, anybody that can’t make a life for themselves should suffer the consequences for being lazy and useless, which led him to offer opinions on Maori issues such as;

“Maori come from an aggressive culture and so Maori need to whiten up”
“The land is not Maori’s, as the Maori sold it and so Maori need to get over it”
“Maori/Pakeha conflict is a North Island thing…

View original post 657 more words


just cos, updates :

For some reason, as my hot flush started taking over this fine ass bod, I thought about the update I have been pondering on but haven’t got around to publishing …

So here I am :)

So, I’ve started packing up the house. I’m an anal fucker like that. But after the feng shui got disturbed with the partners dodgy agreement with the landlord, and although we’ve declined his white priveleged offer … there could be repercussions.

White privledge doesn’t like to be offended.

Oh, and the other reason I’ve started packing is I got shit to do and aint got time for packing in the next month or two.

Moko number #6 is due toward the end of August so I’ve planned on hanging out for a month. Cos thats what Nannys do ;)

By October though she’s on like donkey kong.

Well, for Me anyways.

I got like 4 more personal goals I want to meet before the end of the year. And the collaborative exhibition is in November.

This should be a doozy!

For Me, the process in preparing for it has been similar to the last … but my work has changed abit … which is also normal I’ve come to realise.

It’s all cathartic … it’s all a process …. its all processing.

I’ll be returning to my ‘protesty’ art lol. It’s what I started painting with. As in, I started painting because I had no words to explain the horror I felt as I learnt about our history. Our real history.

Honestly … the pain is horrific … and quite encumbersome. Painting was the only relief I could find.

So this time, our collaborative exhibition is based on the myths related to domestic violence. Completely my jam …

And as I started to try and get my head around what to paint, something completely different happened … as it does. You would have caught little snippets of it throughout the year and my painting related posts.

So this year, I’m addressing the whitewashing of our culture and our position as ‘women’ … of the reverse racism and the result of colonisation that sees Us now at the top of every violent, addict and victim statistic that is presented to Us via government and social justice groups.

As you can imagine … it’s caused a bit of angst ;)

But it’s been good. It’s brought another wave to the story.

In and amongst all this, I’m also going to respond to my daughters father, who was my first ‘grown up’ experience of ‘relationship’ violence. Not actually sure if it’s grown-up violence considering I was 15 … but oh well, there it is.

In the shitfest that was the rest of my life lol, I’m not sure that I ever really got to respond to / about him. I grew up and it turned out there were way worse things in store for Me than being beaten about the head with a telephone book.

But yeah …

So, I’ll continue to pop into my awesome blog and update randomly and have a giz around … catchup with the blog world happenings and post random posts and poetry about sexual assault, violence, racism and casual sexism … the usuals ;)

Love and light to All y’all xoxo

#abstract #art #abstract_art #abstractpainting #whitewash #series #storytelling #resistance_art #selfdetermination #kpm©

kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


the current news

In our little country, a story regarding the historic sexual assault of multiple children by a supposed prominent member of our Maori community, is circulating. This person is also now, deceased.

His ex wife and family came forward, via Facebook a couple weeks ago, and laid the whole thing bare.

Now on a personal level, I don’t have any beef with how she did this.

What is causing the current shit storm are the outcries of ‘false accusation’ and ‘you can’t condemn a dead man’ and ‘there is no-one else involved’. However the wife has spoken with police and given names of those who may or may not have been involved with the apparent ‘pedo ring’.

Now, I don’t have beef with this either.

The following rant may sound a little harsh in some areas; but, oh well.

The aftermath of this ‘outing’ is rampant on facebook and the  hurt feelings are running deep.

But what is certainly hard to stomach is the LACK of specific and forthright response or support for possible victims.

What is therefore probable, is that hardly any of them will actually come forward … because why would they?

Justice? Relief?

It’s a deep wound and one that can take years to unfold.

Which brings me to the following fuckery.

People are very very quick to jump on the pedo ring rant, or the support for a sexual assault victim – and no offence intended to these peeps. Their journey is just as fucked as the rest of ours.

My bitch is that when it comes to IN HOUSE sexual assault – via family member/s, there is little to Nil sympathy, empathy and support.


In my non-professional opinion, its because the general population can not quite fathom that a family member, a person related to a victim – a daughter, grandchild, nephew, child … can be sexually assaulted by their parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt, cousin, siblings …

We’ve been fed, as a society, the whole ‘monster under the bed’ theory, and the serial killer anomaly bullshit … that psychos are rare and only strike once in a while.

We forget that the stats for this sort of shit are currently 1 in 3 females / 1 in 5 males will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18 … in our country anyways.

It doesn’t seem to occur to us, that if these are the under-reported figures, who do they think is doing the assaulting?

Random strangers?


You are more likely to be sexually assaulted by someone you know, period.

I think what becomes to hard for the general population, is the thought of unravelling an entire families dysfunctions to get the whole shitty fucking thing right out in the open. It costs to shine a light on grubby little secrets that cost our children their entire lives.

But we as human beings, need a fucking reality check.

This shit is happening.

In homes.

In churches.

In schools.

Its done by seemingly normal looking people who hold down jobs, are on the PTA, play golf and do grocery shopping. They are skilled chameleons and do not want their filth exposed for the world to see.

Going back to our current news of the week … whoever is accused in this whole filthy thing, and it turns out that they’re innocent … cool. But I don’t care really. They’ll live.

Those that have had to deal with the ordeal of sexual assault and then have had to live with the secret for years … my empathy lies with them. Whether they speak out or not, they are all survivors and all deserve to heal.

The rest of the pedo cunts can go fuck themselves. I hope they’re called out and dealt with like our tipuna (ancestors) would have done.


kpm ©



photography .87


#sunset #beautiful #nature #ocean #photography #kpm©

kpm ©



watching you ~ ardijah

watching you ~ ardijah, 1988