btw ..

i dont even like you.

*insert eye ball roll*


kpm©


 

tis been a brewing ..

which isn’t really usual for me,  right.

but i haven’t quite been able to get my head round it all .. so this, as usual, will tumble out as it does.

as a fore-mention .. apparently the hormones dont care if the world is struggling with some kind of epic pandemic proportionalities .. they will still fuck wit cha lol.

sooo ..

the last couple weeks have seen our country move from a full on level 4, which included a tonne of fear & complete lockdown – no travel or delivery services except for ‘essential services’ .. which also meant ‘essential’ was subsequently, redefined .. then just like that, apparently the worst was over & we moved from a 4 to a 3 .. & that included non-contact services could re-open, peeps could go back to work (non-essential) as long as there was social distancing (yes, that also got redefined as an actual thing) put in place .. this also included the re-opening of shit services including Maccas .. & good lawd did we fall for it or what!!! ques for miles, rubbish for miles.  .. then all of a sudden, & i say that with the attached drama that is intended lol .. we’re moving from 3 to 2. & this is where our country be atm.

i’ll pause that bus here ..

.

i’ve watched the world, literally, display some fucked up behaviour over the last month and a half. the ‘good’ upshot, is ive been able to compare my pts(d) with the anxiety & symptoms being readily displayed on social media, & find an unusual balance / comparison / reality.

for me, life over the last decade, has been about adjustment, utilising resources & finding resources i didn’t know existed .. learning .. fast & slow .. trying to process @ a pace that suits me & then recalibrate for a world that, as a whole, doesnt give a shit about me or people like me.

i’d come, or was fast arriving, prior to the covid, to a place of trying to accept me for me on a deeper level. that anxiety exists .. pts(d) is a symptom, healing takes place @  levels & is continuous, & getting stuck isn’t always a bad thing. i’d also started to embrace the beauty in it all. that being ‘stuck’ meant quiet .. quiet appreciation for whats going on right here & now .. what nature / life has to show you even if you’d rather be doing something else.

& then when the world ground to a halt & toilet paper became scarce & toilet paper jokes became the thing *eye ball roll inserted*, i realised how un-ready & un-prepared people were for being ‘un-well’. i’d spent the past 10 plus years grappling with something they all had approximately 3 days to adjust too. at that point, i hoped there’d be some kind of cosmic shift *inserting another eye ball roll* & a universal awakening of some kind.

instead, they made tik toks, decided that supermarkets workers were actually worth something & took up hand washing.

it all disturbed me, but i couldn’t put my finger on the why it disturbed me. people are freaks & really, did this behaviour surprise me? nope. so why be disturbed by it?

because .. as i soon discovered .. it was in my hood.

what does that mean?

because ive cultivated ‘alternative’ resources, avenues of support etc & they’ve all been via the internet .. i’ve also learnt how to wade through the sometimes ses pit and bullshit that is the internets .. & then to have millions of peeps, all new to the game, get up in there and disturb its flow … wellllllll, that messed with me feng shui.

so what was my point again …

ummm ..

i dont know that we’ve actually actuals learnt anything.

now that the internets (round here anyways) have died down & everyones returned to their ‘normal’ lives, its become apparent, to me anyways, that they were quite content with the pollution, the humdrum, the bills, the raucous, the lame ass-ness .. the complacency. yes, thats it .. they’re quite content with the complacency that comes with ‘normality’.

but im not.

im not now, nor have i ever been.


kpm©


 

post fuckery contemplation:

once,

someone said to me,

why do you smile so much.

it wasnt really a question.

so i stopped. smiling that is.

another said, why do you frown all the time.

it wasnt really a question.

so i stopped. frowning that is.

yet another said, why are you so cold.

it wasn’t really a question.

so i stopped.

listening to other fucking people that is.

the end.


kpm ©


 

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the backlog …

must say .. keeping up with the steez of birthday month has been challenging lol.

the struggle is real ;)

there was lunch & coffee with my beautiful mama xx

the food life ;)

seafood chowder … IKR!

there was prezzies … from me, myself & i lol & other pretty cool peeps x

my new blue jumpsuit x it looks better on lol

wooden bowl & coffee cups … oh yeah x

yes it is a cigar :)

& the pièce de résistance for moi:

i was given an entire range of ‘sensitive friendly’ facial / body products! holy fuck! i haven’t used a product that agrees with me in like, fucking years!!! & now i’ve found my match x

these are ab-solutely di-vine to use x

yeah, so thats the backlog.

kinda cool that i haven’t had time to post these, cos it means birthday month is turning out to be waaaayyyy more epic than i had anticipated & i’ll be definitely keeping this new tra-dish!

xx


kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


 

triggers

you just cant stop someone / something triggering you.

period.


kpm ©


 

Image

is it just me …

or are there white people everywhere?

on every channel i switch too?

on every movie i pick to watch?

they’re every fucking where.

so guess what …

i decided i aint watching anything now that isn’t At Least a 50/50 split of white & POC.

why?

cos i’m sick of seeing peeps that i don’t look like.

i want my mokos to see they are not the minority here.

#JS



kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


 

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how people treat you.

do they yell at you,

degrade and criticise you.

do they give ‘well-meaning advise’,

and ‘suggest’ you change some how.

do they ask inappropriate questions,

like, stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable.

do they interrupt you midway through ‘conversation’,

to interject their ‘story of glory’.

do they patronise

or mock your choices.

maybe ignore your voice.

and your choices.

.

how do we let them treat us.

.

the same as they always have?

.

i think fucken Not.


#timesuponthatshit


kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


 

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todays news:

I opened FB for the early morning updates and found an old work colleague had died last night.

He had been sick for a long time, but being as stubborn as he was, he had battled for years … won, got sick again and now his body had finally decided to rest.

So I’m reminded again, that life is a gift. And you only get one go. There are no do-overs.

I thank my tipuna for the beginning of my mokos life.

And I thank the atua for the life that has moved on and I had the privilege of knowing.

Rest easy my old friend <3


kpm ©


 

who won?

not the homeless

not the estranged

not the kids

not the endangered.

.

oh sorry,

you asked

who won?

.

the rich.

the white.

but mainly,

the rich.


kpm©


 

fake.ass

i know
you’re faking it.


kpm ©


 

The go to guy …

He found it,
The ‘go to guy’
He found his balls

They was hiding
In his tight tighty whiteys

But he freedomised them
Changed up his panty size
And kicked some family ass

Hollah!


kpm ©