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reconciling the hormones #12

On the first day there was Vodka …

And then came the thought: Limoncello!!

Then came the steeping:

48 hours later, came the compilation:

Then the adding:

Then the cooling:

And tahdah:

Limoncello!

Guess what comes next 😉

Cheers to the Hormones: You righteous set of up tight off balanced bitches!

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mauri of me #48 ~ new growth

Similar to rewriting the narrative,

New growth comes … eventually.

It starts small … just a seed.

And given the right circumstances,

It grows …

And the possibilities

from here on out …

are endless.

#photography

My seedlings are growing 🙂

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photography ~ my backyard #111

#mybackyard #mybeach #beach #beachlife #lovingbeachlife #sunset #beauty #mybeauty #colours #oranges #reds #blues #photoblog #photograph #photography #kpm©

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dinner at the usual spot <3

No where else in the world

I’d rather be.

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mauri of me #48 ~ persistent

When I was particularly depleted, aka sick as fuck … there were long portions of time, where I thought I might never ‘get up’ again. But even in those times, I was looking for a way to manage my shizz whilst flat on my face. And while I’m not a lover of that ‘down but not out’ shit, this is my version of that.

The way I see it, we are all dealing with shit, and thats usually made harder by the train of thought, or pressure, put on Us to ‘get better’, ‘be better’ … To get ‘Normal’, again. I’ve certainly had my fair share of this thinking process … and still struggle with it occasionally.

But by in large, my struggle is more with the practicalities of how to re-shape my world so I can manage it. Not re-shape it to fit what someone else thinks it, or I,  should look like.

And throughout all of that, I’m finding Me.

This years biggest struggle, although there has been a few, has been with my father. Theres many a post on Me trying to understand, process, analyze, let go, summarise and respond to the relationship that has and hasn’t been, between us.

Strangely and quite poetically I suppose, the last of my ‘letting go’ process with him, came out within my art. My art actually helped Me fill in the missing pieces and unfold a few other bits and pieces and let go of the last of it.

Which is why I ended up with 13 pieces for the exhibition. It’s also why the exhibition itself, became so important for Me to attend. It’s also why I posted the names and meanings of each piece over the last month. It’s also why I refer to it all again here.

I discovered, that my persistance for self honesty and transparency … a light soul pretty much … is part of what drives Me. It’s not money, or status, or importance, or intelligence …. or any of those surface bullshit things …

It’s living ‘light’.

I don’t do well with a heavy soul … and mine is somewhat naturally heavy and leans to the things that are heavier. But can be made even heavier whenever ‘unreal’ bullshit is taken on.

So this last little round-up of photos from the exhibition – while they may not be the finest looking filtered photographs  – they are Real.

They are Me.

Today, I high-five Me.

I’m one righteous individual ❤

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“lets do coffee or dinner sometime …” … yeah … ok

I’ve written about this before:

I Miss Going Out For Coffee at a Cafe.

Of all the things (besides the obvious – visiting my grand babies regularly!), this is the one thing I feel pts(d) has taken that I may never get back. I miss everything about it. The coffee, of course – the smell; the sounds; the idle chatter; the ‘feeling’ … I miss this more than going out for dinner.

And when someone says: “lets catch up … have coffee … go out for dinner …”, can you imagine what goes through my skull? It’s not joy at that prospect thats for sure! It’s usually sadness; a touch of whimsical remininance followed by a sharp pang of guilt then dread … followed closely by a lie … “Sure, sounds great …” … or the truth (depending on whose doing the asking) … “No thats not going to happen anytime soon, but your welcome to do an alternative with Me … Interested?” … which is usually followed by them saying … “Ahhhh … I’ll look at my schedule and get back to You …”

Oh well … It weeds out the flakes thats for sure …

But, the partner misses going out for dinner. The man can eat a small countries worth of food in one sitting! I shit you not!

So the other night he says:

“You want to do dinner at our favourite place?”

Feeling slightly perplexed and wondering what the fuck he’s on, I give him that ‘look’ … and he says : “Our beach. We can have our steak dinner down there.”

Awww … He’s been listening … Finally.

So we did … and while he tried to do ‘wave riding’ I parked up in the boot of the car and wrote and when he’d finished flailing about in the ocean lol … we cooked our steak dinner on our little gas burner and then sat in the sand and enjoyed this view:

Now that’s how ‘dining out’ should be done … and that view! Can’t get that through the window of a restaurant!

And this is what ‘reframing’ pts(d), for Me, is all about. Not just finding ‘alternatives’, but finding something better that becomes the new ‘Norm’.

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366 reasons to smile ~ +325.

+325. Oh yes I did … I actually baked them this time, instead of eating all the cookie dough 😉

#photograph

Macro shot of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies ❤

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mauri of me #46 ~ dark, rainy days

my favourite days

are dark.

not the morose

dark:

although i do find comfort

in those –

but the cloud

and rain, darkness.

for me, everything about

the dark:

brings calm.

to my mind; to my body.

i find beauty and peace

in it.

i find cleansing,

and refreshing.

there are no ups and downs.

no high highs, or low lows.

it’s just quiet.

just plain.

just grey.

just dark.

it’s like neutrality,

but beautiful.

but an understated, natural

beauty.

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exhibition art ~ ruaūmoko

ruaūmoko

Ruaūmoko

#abstractart #abstract #art #acrylic #paint #painting #concrete #stretched #canvas #black #yellow #red #greys #exhibitionart #ruaūmoko #spiritenergy #volcanoes #volcanic #activity #maori #tangatawhenua #aotearoa #culture #resistance #selfdetermination #resolving #unfolding #responding #@kpmartistactivist

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exhibition art ~ tāne

tāne

Tāne

#exhibition #piece #abstract #art #blackandwhite #photography #enlarged #paper #macro #distorted #view #maori #colonisation #logic #reasoning #response #resistanceart #@kpmartistactivist

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