it’s been a week since the exhibition opening & other than the photos from the night, i haven’t really given a blow by blow update. my last post was re: my nerves and the countdown to the night and the blessing that was the rain … and i kinda left it there.
cos its taken most of the week to recover from said events; and it’s taken nearly all week to really process the events.
i got to the exhibition earlier than i needed to – which for me, is a first in a long while. i’ve tended to be bang on time, so i don’t have to wait, or late, so i don’t have to wait. but on the night of the event, it started raining which a. calmed my fuckery right down and b. then i was able to actually look forward to it.
i had prepared for this virtually all year. i wasn’t nervous about exhibiting; was a tad nervous about the people; wasn’t nervous about the venue because i had already seen it when we did the installation. i made sure i was comfortable and wearing an all black ensemble ;) my go-to comfort attire lol. oh, and sneakers of course!
i had my bag of tricks & my ear plugs on the ready. i’d taken a small amount of anti anxiety drugs, but not much considering what i was in for.
when the event actually started and the opening speeches etc were being made, i had a moment where i realised i was standing in the middle of a crowd of about 60-80 people. i felt a pang of anxiousness and then a profound sense of pride i think it was. not because of the exhibition or my art that i could see hanging to the side of me, but because i was ‘here’ … standing … breathing … and being part of something larger than just me & my home & my nerves & my fears.
it brought a little tear to me eye ;)
after all the formalities were done i … wait for it … mingled!! oh yeah … i did LOL!
not sure that i did it very well, but i did it. i was proud of my work as in my art work, but more prouder that i was there! i had a couple people ask me what i had done because i ‘looked well’ … i brushed it off with a ‘thankyou … its the lighting’ lol and a bit of a laugh … but really, i knew it was a years worth of preparing and breathing and freaking out and calming down and breathing some more … i paid for that moment all year … and it was fucking worth it!!!
i took my family though the gallery to view my work and they were as proud as i was. the people that i had collaborated with, were just as proud of me as i was of them. the group i make art with are all extremely strong women, who have lived hard lives and are all trying to make something better out of their situations. like me. and i love that.
another moment i had was learning that one of my pieces was exhibited in the same building, and just around the corner, from 2 famous maori artists i absolutely admire and adore – Ralph Hotere & Robyn Kahukiwa. Now how absolutely gangstah is that! thats a once in a lifetime experience for me :)
the next biggest moment, was learning that my mothers and brothers art work will both be in the same space next week. i knew they had exhibitions on too, but we hadn’t realised we would all be in the same place at the same time! now how cool is that!!! that is also a once in a lifetime experience for me! that my entire little fams will be exhibiting in the same gallery at the same time … ay, and along side 2 famous artists ;)
anyway … i stayed for 2 1/2 hours. and when we left we drove through town.
i felt overwhelmed, tired, excited, accomplished, relieved and proud, all at the same time.
it was well worth the anxiety and planning and re-planning and sickness and panic attacks even lol.
i’d like to say thankyou to my blogging family, for all your support and encouragement! all the little words of support were awesome and i couldn’t have been there enjoying my moment without the love y’all showed moi.
i appreciate you all immensely xxxx
so, that was me.
that was me & my event.
that was me & my achievements.
that was me & my hard work.
on the insides bruh,