Image

so, i thought i did well …

it’s been a week since the exhibition opening & other than the photos from the night, i haven’t really given a blow by blow update. my last post was re: my nerves and the countdown to the night and the blessing that was the rain … and i kinda left it there.

why?

cos its taken most of the week to recover from said events; and it’s taken nearly all week to really process the events.

i got to the exhibition earlier than i needed to – which for me, is a first in a long while. i’ve tended to be bang on time, so i don’t have to wait, or late, so i don’t have to wait. but on the night of the event, it started raining which a. calmed my fuckery right down and b. then i was able to actually look forward to it.

i had prepared for this virtually all year. i wasn’t nervous about exhibiting; was a tad nervous about the people; wasn’t nervous about the venue because i had already seen it when we did the installation. i made sure i was comfortable and wearing an all black ensemble ;) my go-to comfort attire lol. oh, and sneakers of course!

i had my bag of tricks & my ear plugs on the ready. i’d taken a small amount of anti anxiety drugs, but not much considering what i was in for.

when the event actually started and the opening speeches etc were being made, i had a moment where i realised i was standing in the middle of a crowd of about 60-80 people. i felt a pang of anxiousness and then a profound sense of pride i think it was. not because of the exhibition or my art that i could see hanging to the side of me, but because i was ‘here’ … standing … breathing … and being part of something larger than just me & my home & my nerves & my fears.

it brought a little tear to me eye ;)

after all the formalities were done i … wait for it … mingled!! oh yeah … i did LOL!

not sure that i did it very well, but i did it. i was proud of my work as in my art work, but more prouder that i was there! i had a couple people ask me what i had done because i ‘looked well’ … i brushed it off with a ‘thankyou … its the lighting’ lol and a bit of a laugh … but really, i knew it was a years worth of preparing and breathing and freaking out and calming down and breathing some more … i paid for that moment all year … and it was fucking worth it!!!

i took my family though the gallery to view my work and they were as proud as i was. the people that i had collaborated with, were just as proud of me as i was of them.  the group i make art with are all extremely strong women, who have lived hard lives and are all trying to make something better out of their situations. like me. and i love that.

another moment i had was learning that one of my pieces was exhibited in the same building, and just around the corner, from 2 famous maori artists i absolutely admire and adore – Ralph Hotere & Robyn Kahukiwa. Now how absolutely gangstah is that! thats a once in a lifetime experience for me :)

the next biggest moment, was learning that my mothers and brothers art work will both be in the same space next week. i knew they had exhibitions on too, but we hadn’t realised we would all be in the same place at the same time! now how cool is that!!! that is also a once in a lifetime experience for me! that my entire little fams will be exhibiting in the same gallery at the same time … ay, and along side 2 famous artists ;)

anyway … i stayed for 2 1/2 hours. and when we left we drove through town.

i felt overwhelmed, tired, excited, accomplished, relieved and proud, all at the same time.

it was well worth the anxiety and planning and re-planning and sickness and panic attacks even lol.

i’d like to say thankyou to my blogging family, for all your support and encouragement! all the little words of support were awesome and i couldn’t have been there enjoying my moment without the love y’all showed moi.

i appreciate you all immensely xxxx

so, that was me.

that was me & my event.

that was me & my achievements.

that was me & my hard work.

<3

this is the piece that hangs around the corner from Ralph & Robyn ;)

it reads:

on the insides bruh,

we screamed
every.
single.
time.
on the outsides bruh,
we had shit to do
fucking shit to do
shit we did with
grace and finesse
and now bruh,
the inadequacies
yah perpetrated
is the fluid
that fuels
our rage
keeps us screaming bruh
change
change
change
check your fucking self
keep your fists on the grind
your dick in yo pants
your mana intact
bruh

photography & art @kpm-artist 

Advertisements
Image

photography .139

#countryside #aotearoa #bnw #photography #photographer #kpm©


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

SaveSave

Image

photography .138

#taranaki #aotearoa #sunset #photography #photographer #kpm©


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

SaveSave

Image

unfucking thyself 101.126

Karakia:

Atua

Tukua

Homai to Aroha

Ae.

126.

i actually thought about dieting & exercise the other day. mainly for the next years goals, cos I’m a fat fucker now; well fatter than i have ever been …

and just as i was thinking about googling diet types, i thought … fuck it, i aint doing this body shaming bullshit. it’s too fucking exhausting! i might be a fat fucker now, but thats ok. it’s better than being the underweight fucker who threw up everything she ate!

so that solves that goal. instead of dieting, i’m going to work on accepting my body for all that it is – like it is.

cos guess what – you only get one of these things& once it’s done, it’s done. i think i’d rather spend time appreciating it that killing it slowly.


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

Image

is it just me …

or are there white people everywhere?

on every channel i switch too?

on every movie i pick to watch?

they’re every fucking where.

so guess what …

i decided i aint watching anything now that isn’t At Least a 50/50 split of white & POC.

why?

cos i’m sick of seeing peeps that i don’t look like.

i want my mokos to see they are not the minority here.

#JS



photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

Image

photography .137

#rhododendron #blossoms #beautiful #macro #photography #photographer #kpm©


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

SaveSave

Image

exhibition [2018]

the collection:

“intersectional violence”


 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

 


 


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

Image

art installation: phase 1, complete-ish

installation is semi-complete …

and i did fucking awesome i must say.

i did new faces and smells and spaces and sounds.

i did negotiations and staircases and heights – eeeekkkk.

i pretty proud of me right now.

and i’m happily fucking tired.


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

Image

unfucking thyself 101.125

Karakia:

Atua

Tukua

Homai to Aroha

Ae.

125.

shits changing … eww

the more i plod along lately, the more i am becoming convinced that we’re all just scrolling through life trying not to feel to much.

by that i mean, the real shit.

not the happy clappy bullshit. not the ‘oh, thats sooooo lovely’ bullshit.

i means the essence of who we are.

cos that shit is usually some pretty raw shit.

and strangely enough, it takes away our breath.

and because it does that, we’d prefer to numb it or placate it, rather than looking it dead in the mother fucking eye ball and making that fear (cos thats what it is) our bitch.

no mater our level of fake together-ness, we seem to all tend to pussy out when it comes to this shit.

why am i referring to this now?

cos i can feel me staring that bitch down … and i can feel my fear. a different sort of fear. the sort that makes you breathless but not panicky.

shits changing round here.

whats that got to do with the pic?

i took this last night. i went for a walk to the beach and it was on the verge of raining but was blowing like a bitch. it was cold as fuck but awesome. in amongst trying to see through the sand blowing everywhere, i found this little beauty. just sitting there looking all beautiful lol.

and in all that wind, she was just solid. not at all phased or moved. just there, looking awesome, getting herself ready for the next phase.

how fucking cool is that!


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

Image

dinner time?

did i tell yah, we had dinner at my beach?

and it was cloudy A.F?

just the way i like it?

had bacon & eggs btw,

i know, i know.


photography & art @kpm-artist