learning curve ..

in the last 12ish hours or so, i have learnith-ed the following:

im good at analysis. with it, i am able to read a situation / room / occurrence, & assess a pretty accurate as fuck solution / outcome.

that means, small talk, shallow waters, murky boundaries … do me no good. they just hurt my ears. because … i can already see the bigger picture.

learning: not everyone sees shit that way. in fact they’re happy with the in between, just tutuing around. they dont want or need an outcome.

they’re happy with that & that is ok.

i just got to do me. not them.

that is it.


kpm ©


 

on : dead funeral stuff

Yes, it seems a little morbid, but after recent events and conversations I decided to take matters into my own hands, and plan ahead. Properly.

After a little research I found out the following (for our country anyways) … this is ‘my’ interpreted version:

  • A will doesn’t need to be done with a lawyer, it just needs to be written and witnessed by 2 people who won’t get anything out of it; the will that is.
  • You can’t bury on private land unless you have a shitload of permits.
  • Burying in a cemetery also takes a shitload of permits.
  • Why be buried with a shit tonne of people you don’t know, especially when you hardly liked people when you were alive?
  • The funeral industry is just that; an industry. They’ll make a buck off’ve anything.
  • A service is held for customary reasons. There’s no real necessity in it.
  • You don’t need a casket to be buried in, or cremated in.
  • You don’t need to be embalmed.
  • You don’t need to be cut up unless you died some heinous way and they want to poke around and find the cause of death.
  • If you get buried in non-biodegradable shit (including the box), that shit lingers and leeches into the earth.
  • An urn is a waste of money. A jar will do.
  • The cheapest way to go is cremation; but that still costs a shit tonne of money. I think the Vikings had the right idea.
  • It’s still possible to be buried at sea, but again, you need a shit tonne of permits.
  • Even a natural burial here, has regulations re: planting, depth of burial, buying a plot.
  • It’ll cost you a small fortune to transport the body and hire a mortician peep, but when fams are grieving, that’s the last thing they’re worried about.
  • Apparently you can get some death grant to help with expenses. How nice of them.
  • A cemetery is still Council / Crown owned. And has regulations.
  • Memorials, headstones and plinths also cost an immoral amount of money.
  • When you’re dead, You’re dead.

kpm ©


 

Image

changing the feels for 2019.

i haven’t done ‘new years resolutions’ for like, forever. too much pressure & as far as i’m concerned a waste of time. if you can’t do shit off’ve your own steam during a year, why on earth do you think a new day & a new year is gonna change it?

fyi: it aint. mind due, thats not based on any scientific research however i’d love to see the stats if any exist ;)

for me though: next year is an ‘on purpose’ change of ‘feels’.

i’ve decided to do things a little different next year.

on top of the agenda: do away with the gregorian calendar.

i hardly do anything on it anyways; but i want to learn more about our natural cycles & how my ancestors did shit. they managed to make their way to this land by following the stars which IMO was way more accurate not to mention, way more gangstah than that colombus idiot who didn’t seem to know which way he was going!

so, gregorian calendar – gone. the beauty of apple & its apps … i was able to bring up all the holidays / days of remembrance / schedules, & then re work what i wanted too & do away with the rest. gone is christmas, having been replaced with a ‘family day’ & appropriate ‘self management’ days, before & after. gone is easter, labour day, queens birthday, halloween & guy fawkes. instead i’ll be acknowledging ANZAC as a day of remembrance for my grandfather … all he was exposed too & came home with; all his family sacrificed & the strength he utilised to live a full & productive life. the only land / country holiday, as such, i’ll be ‘doing’ is waitangi day & i’ve added in our ‘independence day’ which was 5 years prior to waitangi. both days will, for me, be about protest, learning & teaching; because until my entire family are decolonised then my job here isn’t done.

i’ve replaced halloween with Día de los Muertos, because for me, its important to remember those that went before us & not in the pakeha sense of it all. i want a day where we remember the babies we’ve lost, our grandparents, friends … & i want their stories told. this day of remembrance, does that for me. 2019 will be the first time i’ve observed this officially: unofficially though, i’ve been doing this for years.

i’ll observe the gregorian new year as a ‘turn over’, but i’ll be concentrating on our matariki, which is in the month June by the gregorian calendar. this, according to our ancestors, marks the change of season & the star formation that appears in the sky once a year. i haven’t really ‘done’ matariki so 2019 will be a learning curb here too.

other than that, moko & familia birthdays will be celebrated as usual :)

i’ve added in self care & self management days so i can add to what i’ve been learning this year … that that shit takes its toll on me & i need to remember to look after myself before, during & after.

as far as ‘goals’ go, i’m going to work on ‘holding my space’. which will require me to be more ‘present’ & ‘in my body’ … arrghhh … thats a giant head fuck for me so i’m not adding much more to my ‘to-do’ list.

& as far as art goes – i’ll concentrate on photography.

the highlight of this year was making it through it !! lol … as lame as it sounds, i’m still super stoked with all that i managed this year. super duper stoked!

so as you all go about rounding off you’re year … stay safe … have fun … & a giant ThankYou for hanging around for the sometimes, extremely tumultuous ride!!!

love & light peeps!! x

*  i’ll leave you with photos from our article in the newspaper featuring yours truly, my mama & brother & our recent artistic accomplishments ;) *


kpm©