weeding

embracing the weeds.

turns out,

they’re healing.

and edible.

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mauri of me #41 ~ nothingness

some days, weeks, months;

there are

No

words:

i’m learning that,

that –

is ok too.

go

do it,

on purpose.

who would have thought

turns out,

the fight

is for me.

doing for me,

like i did

for my kids.

ahoy

i think i might

build a big

boat

and become a

pirate

today.

it was that,

or Noah.

he seemed

a little

‘goodie-to-shoes’

for me

though.

So Pirate it is.

hi

hi.

i enjoy

music,

food,

and art.

i’m socially

awkward

but looking

for

a partner

in crime …

Shit,

wrong site, my bad.

st –

streng-

th.

“the capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.”

flash

of a hand;

hands;

suffocation;

crawling.

*a night in the day of – a day in the night of*

steps

where did i get lost?

was it in between breaths?

was it in between spaces?

was it in between, at all?

i could just make it,

make it so it seemed

bearable.

even more than bearable really.

quite enjoyable.

and then …

and then.

ahhh, i remember.

the first punch

was being forgotten.

it wasn’t my beloved sister leaving

this plane.

it was being forgotten.

they forgot she was my sister.

they forgot, i was her sister.

they forgot.

Me.

and as i gulped for air,

the air of grief,

but i could breath,

because i had learned how;

the torment that comes with

being forgotten

seeped into my pores.

into my pores

and into my blood.

slowly, so slowly it poisoned

my heart.

as my heart turned septic,

my body turned septic.

the second blow came

when the forgotten

was bent, and used as a

step ladder.

its a strange place to be,

bent over in the dirt,

head slightly tilted to see

those who step up.

and there i have stayed.

in the dirt,

stepped on,

forgotten.

the only thing to do now,

is to stand up.

es-

es-

sence.

“the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something, especially something abstract, which determines its character.”