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yo ..

so, ive recently moved #mystory content to password protected content ..

explanation : ish

i been thinking for the longest time *groan* about what is ‘available’ publicly, & respecting my growth .. what i put out there .. why i put it out there .. blah de fucking blah . yah get my drift.

what it forced me to look @ is the why …

for those that have been round forever, you’d remember i started this site / blog cos i literally had no resources prior to being given a computer & a subscription for a years internet provision.

i shit you not.

& here’s the thing.

theres broke & then theres broken. & @ the time i started this blog, i was both.

i hadn’t left the house in years. i was dizzy. anxious. frightened. no money. no job. no nuddah .. but worst of all, i was running out of energy.

that was like 8 years ago.

i would love to say that help just magically appeared. that there was a long list or even short list, of agencies or people or support places, that were on to it, that i could tap into.

but there wasnt.

i finally found some resources but was pretty fucked up by then.

blogging was free.

& thats it.

thats why i started this ‘journey’. it was my way of processing & making peace-ish with the bitch ass that is pts(d).

& now im here.

ive resolved a whole heap of shit .. other shit is still in ‘process’ lol.

.

so this is where im @.

i didnt spend 40 plus years reliving fucked up shit to get here & forget that child sexual assault is still a real fucking issue.

its not gone anywhere.

it hasnt diminished any.

people like me are still crippled af by the effects of it.

& honestly, fuck that shit.

its layers of bullshit.

.

does my story inspire resistance & fortitude for others? fucked if i know. but i know i didnt come this far for nothing. i’ve shared in one way or another, what resolving, letting go, re-resolving, re-living, un-earthing, making peace, making war, fucking shit, looks like for me.

i know im more @ peace with myself than i ever used to be.

whats the moral of this long winded post lol ..

i’ve locked the grisly content so i can move on .. for this part of my journey.

however …

theres always a how-fucking-ever with me lol ..

if yah need to read my lifes story cos it may help You with something .. im gonna pin this post. you can leave your email deets in the comments section (which i won’t make public & will delete after) & ill send you the password for the #mystory content.

i only ask that you do one thing for me please ..

i’d like you to google “local agencies working with child sexual assault victims”.

that’ll take you on a wild af ride.

but when you find the one that resonates with you, please make a donation to them. anything. big or small. monetary or whatever you can.

cos honestly .. this whole sexually assaulting children is some fucked up shit, thats way past expiry date.

& it takes more than the village to dismantle that shit.

it takes more than sheer determination to heal that shit.

feel me.

.

so yeah .. thats it.


kpm©