thats right …

i did this the other day:

& no, i didn’t hit the cunt or take a photo whilst driving lol.

i stopped, then clicked, cos i made it to the 80k sign just out of our little town. :)


& lets just never mind that i got confused with which side the fucking indicators were on & ended up with all window wipers going @ the same time, which smudged all the shit that was already on the windows & i couldn’t see a goddam thing & started having a point 8 panic fuck!

i calmed that bitch down eventually, whilst trying to turn the fucking wipers off. ps: did you know that if you switch the car off, it doesn’t reset like a computer does??? you’re welcome.

(digression: i cleaned those windows the following day & filled those window wiper cleaner thingees. it’s my daughters car & it looks like the only thing she ‘fixed’ before giving it to mum, was …. well, i’m still looking …)

anyway …

after all that … taking my victory photo … & starting to head back home; i realised it was that time of day whereby the sun is starting to set, & as beautiful as that is, it’s an absolute bitch to drive in when you’re a nervous fuck!

so, once again blinded by the light of the glorious sun, i had to dig deep into the reservoir of my ‘not recently used’ driving experience … stayed left & followed the white line home.


but i am not defeated.

it took a few hours to recalibrate & realise that that shit is the reality of driving. well, thats what they used to teach yah. & that manoeuvring a huge fucking piece of metal around a few narrow bits of tarseal @ varying speeds … hoping to high hell that the large piece of metal making its way towards you on the opposite side of said tarseal, is being driven by someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing & are being as fucking cautious as you are!!!


needless to say, i haven’t gone for another drive yet.

but i will.

kpm ©


so, here i am ..

3.16 am. over a half a sedative later, and I’m still awake.

Decided not to fight it, so got up to finish cleaning my vinyl collection. Yep, still at it.

I’m onto George Benson <3

I’m feeling aight … not frustrated, which is good.

I know I’ve got to keep doing exactly want I need to when I want to.

Nothing extra.

I know I love music, food, art, and creating shit.

I figure music is good for 3.16 am … so I’m rolling with that.



in the driving seat again

I forget to celebrate the goodness…

But I need to, to make sure it doesn’t get drowned out by the shit.

We decided to go the shop the other day for a brownie…yes, that’s right our local shop sells the meanest brownie! I think it’s possibly the best in the world…so just as well on one knows where I live :).

Anyway, I was feeling like a lard ass and a little funky and sulky over the pending move, so we decided to drive the 500 metres to the shop…yes, that’s right.

Anyway again…the point of this post…just as we were about to commit the ultimate laziness sin…I decided I wanted to try driving again. My partners  jaw dropped open and he was about to speak…something smart and possibly inciting…and I did the miss thang ‘hush your mouth man, and give me those keys’. He did.

I jumped in and pretty much pretended I had been doing this shit for years…I got this. I backed out the driveway as my partner put on his seat belt and started to grip the seat. And again he was about to say something smart and I hushed that man to silence.

I drove the length of our street, round the corner, did a U-turn, parked…and breathed. I turned the car off and sidled into the shop like I owned the place…with partner, still gob smacked and looking a little intimidated, in tow. I bought my brownie (yah to the brownie and double yah to being able to purchase that mother!)

I proceeded out the door back into the front seat of the car, started it up and went in the opposite direction to our house. The partner asked where we were going…and was I alright…and his pie was getting cold and he wanted to go home…and shouldn’t I turn the other way. To which…he got, ‘Fuck Up Man’.

I carried on…I turned 4 corners…I passed 3 cars (parked cars)…and drove behind a moving car…I turned our corner…I went up the driveway and parked that bitch!

I did it!

And I was awesome! And I am proud of me.

And then I left the partner, still gob smacked, in the passengers seat of the car, went inside, made a cup of tea…and ate my deliciously amazing victorious brownie!!

Next time I may go a little further…and I may go by myself :)

kpm ©