did yah know ..

it’s near impossible to read anything when u feel unsafe?
that’s what came to me today.
after wondering what it is I love or even like, to do.
i realised I’d been following the sunshine round my house, you know, when it comes through the windows and is warm but not too hot .  . & I sit or lie in it’s warmth, & read …
i’m reading three books now. mainly just one though.
it’s from a series of kids horror books .. the other 2 books are way more grown up, but I like the kid ones.
anyways, I realised, I never read for the fuck of it, because I was always alert.
whilst alert nothing can be a major distraction because your senses are spread out.
& there’s no room for engrossing make believe when real life is exhausting as fuck.
today I’ll continue with my little horror books. lying on the floor in the sun.
in safeish safety.
practicing .. rest. without all my senses freaking themselves the fuck out.
fyi :just random thoughts.