why does everything have to be some kinda long winded learning moment or photo op.

rhetorical question.



the feeling of always having to be available .

always being open, available, learning , grinding , selling.

then move to other spaces to heal, recouperate, create ..

that makes no sense.

everything constantly having access to you.

also ..

the old ‘god breaks us to remake us’ bs.

whats with that???


a narrative ..

they said i wanted to grow up too fast.

but that was the wrong narrative.

i was forced to be grown. & at the time y’all did nothing to stop that from happening or to ensure my childhood was preserved.

now i am grown completely, raging even, & the accurate is being told & still y’all dont like it.

but thats too fucking bad.




*April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month*

seen a couple ‘conferences’ due to air re getting the ‘youngsters’ to stay home.

as much as i’d like them to comply as well .. this is my response .. & has been my response for many years actually.


“y’all cant fuck an entire generation or 2 & expect them to give a fuck”.

prepare yourselves for non-compliance.



*April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month*

kpm ©


yo ..

i see you.


first & foremost, this is not for victims nor survivors.


it’s not for those that can relate. it’s not a lesson in what to avoid and what should be done.

it’s not tears. it’s not rage.

it’s not for those wanting to know why. or for those that want to ‘just understand’.


this is for the infant, the toddler, the new entrant, the pre period, pre voice breaking child who will get fucked with today.

who will get fucked.

and no one will notice. Noone will say a word. Noone will do anything.

it’s for the forgotten child, the one that has repeatedly begged for it to stop, so many times they’ve given up. it’s for the child that probably won’t make it past 15. who wonders, is this all I am good for .. all my existence is about. who will go to school (but not today) and get reprimanded for a spelling error when all the can smell is rotten cum seeping out of their assholes.

this is for that child, that probably will never get to read this, and will still get fucked anyway & who will probably kill themselves before they get a chance to escape. the child who is so numb they can’t feel anything anymore.


this is for you.


and then it’s for the fuckwits who surround you and still stay fucking silent and incapacitated .. apathetic and docile.

it’s for the lame ass, couldn’t & didn’t do it, intervener. 

because you cunts are part of the poison.


& lastly, this is for the fuck face kiddyfuckers of this world, that fuck with children. because you cunts come in all shapes and sizes. you’re not all famous & belong to little rings & conspiracy theories. you’re everyday, mundane, boring little fucks whose dicks dont get hard unless your prey is small & helpless.


i see you too.


& you’ll keep cunts.

your day is coming.



kpm ©


*April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month*



argument – old response:

oh my introverted little heart, what have you done to cause such a travesty.

argument  – new response:

fuck you cunt, youre a little bitch.


ohh i do believe i re-found my inner thug! 

kpm ©


the truth.

or someone else’s version of it –

its a kick ass reality check, if you let it be.

kpm ©


reality shift.

formulated against your backdrop … where you believe you define everything that is relevant within the world – i can’t retain who i thought i was & what i wanted to be.

& atm, thats just fucking fine, cos i dont need it anymore.




the same space doesn’t exist.

time changes it.

kpm ©


be gone.

give up the dream.

cos it’s just a dream.

kpm ©



needed to know i was important to you.

in My language. not yours.

yours sucks.



some-day fuckery.

yah know, there are just ‘those days’, when as much & as hard as yah try, you just cant help seeing all that is wrong with something, instead of seeing both sides of the coin.

today be one of those bitch ass days.

as much as i tried to ‘go-with-the-flow’, it just wasn’t flowing how i wanted it too.

so i’m here.

typing out my grievances.


kpm ©



photography .196

#bnw #dv #reality #photography #kpm©

kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


in a hand basket?

yah know that saying … “something something, hell, something, in a hand basket?”

yeah well its actually (after aunty google’ising) : ‘to hell in a hand basket’, meaning somethings turning into shit faster than expected (my interpretation) …

& where was i going with that …

oh yeah … NZ is in the hand basket, on its why to hell.


after ‘the events which transpired last week’ aka, after the mass shooting / terrorism attack by a white supremacist which left 49 people dead … the country is reeling.

seriously. reeling.

but not as you’d think: from my point of view anyways.

reasoning, denial, tokenism & of course, blame, is all settling in.

& i’m tired.

kpm ©



thats right …

i did this the other day:

& no, i didn’t hit the cunt or take a photo whilst driving lol.

i stopped, then clicked, cos i made it to the 80k sign just out of our little town. :)


& lets just never mind that i got confused with which side the fucking indicators were on & ended up with all window wipers going @ the same time, which smudged all the shit that was already on the windows & i couldn’t see a goddam thing & started having a point 8 panic fuck!

i calmed that bitch down eventually, whilst trying to turn the fucking wipers off. ps: did you know that if you switch the car off, it doesn’t reset like a computer does??? you’re welcome.

(digression: i cleaned those windows the following day & filled those window wiper cleaner thingees. it’s my daughters car & it looks like the only thing she ‘fixed’ before giving it to mum, was …. well, i’m still looking …)

anyway …

after all that … taking my victory photo … & starting to head back home; i realised it was that time of day whereby the sun is starting to set, & as beautiful as that is, it’s an absolute bitch to drive in when you’re a nervous fuck!

so, once again blinded by the light of the glorious sun, i had to dig deep into the reservoir of my ‘not recently used’ driving experience … stayed left & followed the white line home.


but i am not defeated.

it took a few hours to recalibrate & realise that that shit is the reality of driving. well, thats what they used to teach yah. & that manoeuvring a huge fucking piece of metal around a few narrow bits of tarseal @ varying speeds … hoping to high hell that the large piece of metal making its way towards you on the opposite side of said tarseal, is being driven by someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing & are being as fucking cautious as you are!!!


needless to say, i haven’t gone for another drive yet.

but i will.

kpm ©



they said it would  be ok.

but it wasn’t.

kpm ©


fyi: don’t grow old

not on this western front anyways.

we despise the old.

much prefer the new.

kpm ©



& as you feel the blood & brain matter dribbling down your face,

as i gently remove the crowbar from your skull

whilst whistling a merry little tune, more to myself, than too you;

just know, that the answer to your question is:

no, i don’t like it.

kpm ©



so was it all that i expected?


& more.

kpm ©


it’s broken.

it is, i am.

‘your not real, really’.

not a real maori,

not a real woman,

not a real artist,

not a real achiever.

so, what’s real?