“be polite”


kpm ©



me & thyself.




Homai to Aroha


As beautiful as it is, there is something quite eerie, but kind of majestic about the river. It feels like it has history … has stories to tell … if you’re willing to listen. It feels like it commands respect and remembrance … a kind of ‘thou shalt not fuck with me’ sort of feel, but nicer lol.

I found as I was photographing the River, that no matter where I stood to take a shot; how I leaned or shaped my body to get what I thought would be a nice shot … I ended up with something completely different … like it wanted to tell it’s own story.

So this shot was supposed to a little to the left … in my minds eye … but when it came out, it was perfectly in balance with how It wanted to be. The River always seems slightly hidden, but it perfect balance with its surroundings.

It was Us that were the intruders … the on lookers … the passer-bys. But non-the-less, I still felt connected to it in a strange but comforting way.


kpm ©



heads up.


(not my meme)

Misogyny, like racism, in my opinion, is a learned behaviour.

And it’s bullshit. As is the ‘boys will be boys’ rhetoric, when describing the bad behaviour of some boys/men. It’s this sort of bullshit that has kept misogyny alive and well in 2017, when it should be long, long gone.

Don’t teach your boys to be little assholes. Teach them to respect themselves and their own bodies first: then teach them to use that same respect to respect the space and bodies of others.

(not my video)






feline issues ..

Ok, so I don’t really have a deep and meaningful relationship with our cat. If anything I despise the little fucker … possibly because he has the life I want …

Sleep … eat … yeah that’s about it LOL

But today, I had a little moment of … possible admiration … possible … “OK, I get your deal” … I do after all have unresolved feline issues, but they were put on the back burner a long time ago .. in exchange for more pressing issues  … yah know, PTS(D) and shit.

So the moment of admiration :


Whilst having my morning fag and coffee … I noticed our black bundle of fur, sitting in the pouring rain.


He didn’t move a muscle, just soaked it up and carried on sleeping as it pissed down!

He now has an inch of my respect! … not that he cares … and i feel slightly … ‘bonded’ with the furry little critter!

He does his own thing :) I like that ;)

kpm ©



ANZAC day, and I remember my Grandad

ANZAC day, and we should remember, with respect, what our forebears did for us.

For me, I remember my Grandad … but I remember him, and miss him, nearly everyday.

Some of that remembrance is regret; wishing I had listened; taken more notice; appreciated every little thing. But the cruel irony of losing someone, or the past; is we usually don’t get it until way after the fact.

Grandad headed off to the 2nd World War at the tender age of 16 … following his brothers, he thought it’d be an adventure that would last a couple of months. Unfortunately, it didn’t finish till five years after he went.


Grandad <3

He didn’t talk about the War much through our life time … and I get that now. He would’ve had PTSD … they all would’ve come home with it. But they didn’t come home to therapy or a designated shrink … they came home and got on with it. Because they had too. For that, I am forever appreciative to my Grandad. I also now, feel a profound empathetic respect for him.

Years later, he was involved in a TV interview, where he talks about War being futile … that as long as ‘they’ made ammunitions there was always going to be war.

How right was he.

So this is what we did today … we looked over Grandads photos; went through and watched all his old Monte Cassino documentaries; his trip to Cassino; and his old interview … we laughed, cried, reminisced  and told Moko about Grandad.

For our soldiers who didn’t come home, and to all the soldiers who did and handled their business, raised their families, did their jobs … and suffered in silence.


kpm ©



gender and the ‘trans’ view …

Not on purpose, but we’ve watched a couple of movies over the weekend that were about the ‘transgender movement’. One was ‘dressed as a girl’; the other was, ‘the Danish girl’. Interesting watching these with the partner, as he’s a bit of an old school homophobe, but I think that’s more to do with being ‘uncomfortable’ with the thought some guy may want his butt hole…lol…I have said to him…’dear, your hot, sure…but don’t flatter yourself’.

Now he’s had to sort of deal with some of his ideas recently…and I’ve been challenged myself. That’s because my youngest daughter and our moko share a house with a friend of hers from school…who is, by the ‘traditional’ understanding of the word, transgender…well ‘our’ description of transgender anyway. Whats interesting about hanging out with her, is that she has no confusion about who she is. When the mokos asked her whether she was a girl or a boy…she replied…’I’m human’. I like that…and the mokos liked that too…they completely understood that explanation. The partner had a little more trouble…but I think the mokos will probably teach him :).

Now that whole conversation says something for the ‘new’ climate that our kids are being raised in…if we let them. My girl is a breath of fresh air when it comes to embracing all that someone is…she has absolutely no issue with who someone is, gender wise. And I think I’d be pretty much be the same. As far as I’m concerned, its none of my god damn business what or who someone wants to be; or who they sleep with for that matter. Unless they’re assholes of course; then they can go fuck themselves…no matter who they are! And on that note…when my girl has issues with her transgender flat mate…she becomes a ‘he’…and when they are on good terms, she remains a ‘she’…funny. Such flexibility lol.

But anyway, I’m no expert on the subject, as in, I have never walked half a mile in these shoes, so can not talk about a first hand experience with the subject matter. I’m also no expert on gay ‘issues’ or the hermaphrodite ‘condition’. However, I do know I don’t like any of these terms…just saying. But that has more to do with my aversion to labelling things and people and having categories which we can neatly place ‘types’ into.

What I do know though, is my own mind.

I can understand not being able to be who I am; being stuck; being suppressed and held down. I understand wanting to be free to be what I am and not having the tools or the understanding to be able to accomplish that. I understand struggling with perceptions and mis-perceptions that would have me be something other than all that I am. I understand having my gender and sexuality attacked because it is perceived to either be a commodity or something ‘less’ than the rest. I do understand what it is to be physically trapped in a being that is the opposite to what I feel I am.

And for these reasons, the dudes in the Danish girl movie…have made it onto my very short list of peeps that I admire ;). Trail blazers, both of them. For the wife, who ‘lost’ her husband as he transitioned…and who ultimately lost her best friend because he wanted to become all that he/she was supposed to be. I found that enormously sad. But the husband; the artist; who chose to follow his heart, his insides and ended up losing his/her life…but was entirely at peace in the knowledge and physicality of being ‘whole’…that takes some extra ordinary courage…big balls, so to speak ;)

I really hope there comes a day, when we will all see the shades of every color, as a whole piece of art. You can’t have one without the other…that’s what makes it beautiful.

Well, that’s what I taught my babies…and I hope they teach their babies the same thing.

kpm ©