& as you feel the blood & brain matter dribbling down your face,
as i gently remove the crowbar from your skull
whilst whistling a merry little tune, more to myself, than too you;
just know, that the answer to your question is:
no, i don’t like it.
‘they’ prefer my response be more
rather than literal.
rather than literal.
is what you are.
pathetic is what you
for you to die
as you have
thats my technical and literal
As horrific as it sounds, pts(d) / sexual violence – has shaped who I am today.
Does that mean it is part of my mauri? I’m not sure … but I know its effects run deep … it’s nightmares still touch my psyche / my soul.
I’m trying to work that out – live with it – reconcile it.
It’s a bitch.
And on the really hard days, there are some things – some methods – that I have developed to help me relieve the anger – the gnawing frustration.
This is my favourite one:
And definitely not for the faint hearted. Not all those that know the reality of sexual assault / violence will appreciate this … but for Me … it fills Me with joy. Sheer, vengeful joy … that No amount of talking, explaining, acknowledging or letting go, will ever compare too.
_____ Take One Movie:
“The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”
…. Fast forward to “the girl with the dragon tattoo torture scene” … which by the way is so named as a clip on YouTube! With 92, 776 views, it just shows how relieving the whole scene can be for someone like Me ;) If you want the entire scene, whereby Lisbeth Salander tattoos “I am a Rapist Pig” on the gutts of the man who has raped her; you’ll have to peruse the archives a little more … not such a popular clip with joe blow public.
But for Me … These two clips … actually the entire movie … are immensely relieving.
I look forward to the day, that my dreams turn to a scene like these. Where it is Me that is exacting the torture; not the other way around.
Do you remember me?
Well I remember you
I remember your prying
And your trying to look innocent
I remember the nod you would give
As I played on the jungle gym
And I remember your
Let’s keep this our
Dirty little secret look
Did you know I already had one?
Way way bigger than this one?
Did you realise your invasion
Wasn’t the first
And was by no means
Well I grew up
And I’ve carried the guilt
And shame of you
For far to fucken long
I get now
That you were probably being
Fucked at home
Or somewhere else
And that your little soul
Was probably as tormented
The empathetic part of me
Feels for the fucked up part of you
But I hated you for invading me
For guilting me
And tormenting me
And while I wish you
No direct harm
I wouldn’t shed a tear
If learned you had
Had your prying little fucking fingers
Severed, the fuck off.