just a quick(ish) follow on from the last post …
for those that don’t know, me & pts(d) included some rather fuck-tional symptoms – otherwise known as ‘triggers’ but fuck i hate that word.
theres all the usual garb that goes hand in hand with pts(d): flashbacks, nightmares/terrors, panic fucks & anxiety.
i’ve subdivided those noting that the anxiety (social & otherwise) stem from flashbacks or more importantly, the fear of having flashbacks.
flashbacks happen all day everyday & are usually (for me) set off strongly by 2 major things: sound & smell.
i’ve managed to slightly combat the sound thing with the gangstah earplugs & sound reducing headphones & music. sometimes it works, sometimes it irritates everything. i just try it & hope for the best.
the smell thing … well thats a hard one. everything & everyone has a certain smell about them. put me in a room i dont know with more than 2 people & its kinda been a recipe for disaster.
because smell just is, & just happens, you can’t really minimise it or even prepare for it. & as i’ve plodded along, i’ve figured out there are certain smells that being on the mega flashbacks. the ones associated with smell, seem to be the deepest & the worst.
i figured out along time ago that sniffing something that’s ‘nice’, like an orange, reduces the initial anxiety, kind of like a distraction i suppose; but neutralising intrusive smells is near impossible.
my little orange concoction, i hope, will aid with the distraction & neutralise the intrusiveness of certain smells.
will it completely get rid of flashbacks?
but i’m hoping it’ll help slow down the process from initial smell, to flashback to panic fuck.
well thats the goal anyways.