doing you on social media.

i came across a dude to follow on FB the other week.

the opening statement he made was about challenging male fragility. that he  had decided that it was a time for change & a ‘remake’ of his own beliefs & he was pleased with the progress. toward the end of the statement he notes that he won’t tolerate the misogynistic bullshit that is espoused from his peers.

big ups i thought.

he understood. he embraced & he was making changes to the way he related to others & how others related to him, or espoused their views around him.

what disturbed me, was the backlash he got, not from other men, but from, would-be feminists.

they told him in no uncertain terms that his use of certain words were derogatory toward women & that if he was really serious about his changes then he should have researched the words he used before he used them.

which brings me to this.

i’ve been told on many occasions to not to use words niggah, retard or cunt, to name just the favourite trinity. to that, i say, get fucked.

i view the ‘correcting’ of my language use as a type of patriarchal / ethnocentric view, that says that I, am not able to use a word in a different context, (which i may add i have been called all of these things by their original derogatory context) than was originally intended.

its all in the intent people.

& we are so busy picking to bits the context of anothers dialogue so we can appear a little more righteous than most, that we miss the intent of it.

all i can say to those feminists & any other self righteous know-it-all cunt, is #YouDoYouBoo & #IWillDoMe.

thats all.


kpm ©


 

girls?

“girls don’t do that …”

really?

you know you in 2018 right?


kpm ©


 

Link

On Golliwogs and Barbie dolls – and liberal double standards

#feminism #women #refocus #reframing #resisting
Another brilliant article by “Writing by Renee”.

writing by renee

Nip it in the bud. It’s a good principle, when it comes to expressions of injustice in general – and the Golliwog dolls recently resurfaced in a store on Waiheke island, New Zealand, in particular. While Golliwog dolls are not exactly a norm in New Zealand the way they are in, say, the Netherlands – we don’t want them back. Resisting them is also a way to remember their history, their connections to the institution of slavery, and their real symbolism and its impacts. This conversation not only keeps the dolls out of circulation, it makes us more sensitive to the racist caricature generally. So let’s have it.

At the same time, I cock my head sideways at liberals who love these conversations because of how comfortable they are, considering that we tend to think of the Golliwog doll as a bygone product of a bygone era. Boy does a…

View original post 2,494 more words

i often wonder about the patriarchy

Really?

Yes. Yes I do.

I wonder sometimes if I was a middle to upper class white guy, how much different my world would look right now.

Bare with Me.

Would the pts(d) have gone undiagnosed for so long?    … No.

Why?

Because as a middle to upper class white guy, I would have had access to some dam fine resources; both personally and professionally.

Would a middle to upper class white guy had his bank insurance denied because of a ‘pre-existing condition’, that was not diagnosed by a ‘professional’? …. No.

Why?

Because he just wouldn’t have! Thats why! And technically speaking, refer to the above reasons.

Professionally speaking, as a middle to upper class white guy, would a “medical discharge” from my profession been my only available option? … Also No.

Why?

a. There would have been another ‘niche’ for Me to fill that required ball sacks only. b. There would have been professional avenues extended to Me as an ‘executive’ with ‘formal qualifications’. c. The doors of opportunity would have been thrust open, using my ‘incapabilities’ as an avenue for ‘climbing the ladder’.

As a person with a lack of ball sacks, were these things offered? … No.

Instead, motherhood was a ‘hinderance’ and stifled my ladder climbing abilities apparently.

Although aptly qualified, those became ‘over’ qualifications.

And although security and safety were sadly lacking at my place of employment, and probably led to the re-awakening of pts(d) panic fucks; I was instead asked about my hormones … whether I was having issues at home … whether I was to ‘small’ to work in this environment … and whether my dress code was in need of de-sexualising.

I worked in a kiddy prison for boys aged 14-17, for 4 years and if I had’ve known I had pts(d) prior to working there, I would have re-thought my strategy. Instead I walked in blind, to a patriarchal, systemically misogynistic and racist system, that I was unprepared for.

.

And here I am.

Qualifications still framed on the wall; breathing deeply so the anxiety doesn’t become unbearable … typing away, so I don’t dwell on this shit all day … trying to figure out how on earth I’m going to pay for my tooth to be pulled out … and looking down the barrel of Christmas, again, as a 40+ year old biological woman, whose hormones are fluctuating like fuckery, who owns virtually nothing but the computer gifted to her by her shrink; holes in her undies a massive headache and sweet fuck all to offer ‘the world’.

And … I can’t even say “At least I have my health”.

Days like today … I really do think that being a middle to upper class white guy would’ve been nice.

********

Please Note: No middle to upper class white guys were harmed during the writing of this post.


kpm ©


 

Video

heads up.

 

(not my meme)

Misogyny, like racism, in my opinion, is a learned behaviour.

And it’s bullshit. As is the ‘boys will be boys’ rhetoric, when describing the bad behaviour of some boys/men. It’s this sort of bullshit that has kept misogyny alive and well in 2017, when it should be long, long gone.

Don’t teach your boys to be little assholes. Teach them to respect themselves and their own bodies first: then teach them to use that same respect to respect the space and bodies of others.

(not my video)

kpm©

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gender and the ‘trans’ view …

Not on purpose, but we’ve watched a couple of movies over the weekend that were about the ‘transgender movement’. One was ‘dressed as a girl’; the other was, ‘the Danish girl’. Interesting watching these with the partner, as he’s a bit of an old school homophobe, but I think that’s more to do with being ‘uncomfortable’ with the thought some guy may want his butt hole…lol…I have said to him…’dear, your hot, sure…but don’t flatter yourself’.

Now he’s had to sort of deal with some of his ideas recently…and I’ve been challenged myself. That’s because my youngest daughter and our moko share a house with a friend of hers from school…who is, by the ‘traditional’ understanding of the word, transgender…well ‘our’ description of transgender anyway. Whats interesting about hanging out with her, is that she has no confusion about who she is. When the mokos asked her whether she was a girl or a boy…she replied…’I’m human’. I like that…and the mokos liked that too…they completely understood that explanation. The partner had a little more trouble…but I think the mokos will probably teach him :).

Now that whole conversation says something for the ‘new’ climate that our kids are being raised in…if we let them. My girl is a breath of fresh air when it comes to embracing all that someone is…she has absolutely no issue with who someone is, gender wise. And I think I’d be pretty much be the same. As far as I’m concerned, its none of my god damn business what or who someone wants to be; or who they sleep with for that matter. Unless they’re assholes of course; then they can go fuck themselves…no matter who they are! And on that note…when my girl has issues with her transgender flat mate…she becomes a ‘he’…and when they are on good terms, she remains a ‘she’…funny. Such flexibility lol.

But anyway, I’m no expert on the subject, as in, I have never walked half a mile in these shoes, so can not talk about a first hand experience with the subject matter. I’m also no expert on gay ‘issues’ or the hermaphrodite ‘condition’. However, I do know I don’t like any of these terms…just saying. But that has more to do with my aversion to labelling things and people and having categories which we can neatly place ‘types’ into.

What I do know though, is my own mind.

I can understand not being able to be who I am; being stuck; being suppressed and held down. I understand wanting to be free to be what I am and not having the tools or the understanding to be able to accomplish that. I understand struggling with perceptions and mis-perceptions that would have me be something other than all that I am. I understand having my gender and sexuality attacked because it is perceived to either be a commodity or something ‘less’ than the rest. I do understand what it is to be physically trapped in a being that is the opposite to what I feel I am.

And for these reasons, the dudes in the Danish girl movie…have made it onto my very short list of peeps that I admire ;). Trail blazers, both of them. For the wife, who ‘lost’ her husband as he transitioned…and who ultimately lost her best friend because he wanted to become all that he/she was supposed to be. I found that enormously sad. But the husband; the artist; who chose to follow his heart, his insides and ended up losing his/her life…but was entirely at peace in the knowledge and physicality of being ‘whole’…that takes some extra ordinary courage…big balls, so to speak ;)

I really hope there comes a day, when we will all see the shades of every color, as a whole piece of art. You can’t have one without the other…that’s what makes it beautiful.

Well, that’s what I taught my babies…and I hope they teach their babies the same thing.


kpm ©