after the displeasure of having to go in.to the shop .. groan.

thoughtings for today :

there’s a distinct lack of empathy or willingness to see things from another’s perspective or position. now I dunno if this is a worldwide phenomenon, but I’d hazard a guess at it being so.

so I’ve had ptsd longer than I’d care to mention. during the emerging of said disorder / illness, whatever the fuck yah wanna call it, I’ve learned how to manage it. Well, me, with it. now that hasn’t been a pretty picture.at.all. but I’ve done / am doing it anyway.

what I’ve noticed over the years is the aforementioned lack of empathy, but that aside, I’d come to believe that I don’t owe an explanation of what or who I am, & that to be misunderstood, goes with the package.

you see, I don’t need to be understood entirely, to be treated as a human being that deserves basic decency.

by decency, I mean fairness.

diversity & inclusion have made their way onto the tongues of many this year. & With good reason.

however .. isn’t it really a crock of shit?

inclusion of all would mean that we allow for all, not just the majority.

and this time I’m referring to those with disabilities. all disabilities.

when you go into any shop, is it immediately apparent that it supports the wellness of all it’s customers? ie : are all isles wide enough for wheelchair access? are lights able to be dimmed for those with visual impairments? is shelving arranged for easy access for all range of heights? are thier spaces calm enough for the anxiety ridden to gather their thoughts?

or is everything & everyone so rushed and hell bent on making a dollar that to be disabled is to be a customer service ‘issue’? 

quite literally, that isn’t inclusion.

getting a customer to wait while you check if someone can assist them, or telling them to come back when it’s not so crowded, or asking that they explain more than twice what it is they mean .. isn’t inclusion .

I get clarification .. but to be willfully ignorant after a disabled person has explained they are disabled and need assistance in a certain area or instance , is cruel.

It’s also stupid.

cos 9/10, they won’t be coming back to your service centre, shop, or whatever.


kpm©


I went out…

Now, as a woman, I believe it is a god given right to go clothes shopping at least once or twice a month. And online shopping doesn’t count.

I haven’t been clothes shopping for nearly 3 years. Until today!

Now I’m definitely not saying the ‘shop’ itself was successful…but the attempt at…the browsing…the experience…well that was!

I did the car ride…tentatively. And I stayed in the back seat this time too. The traffic was horrid, but I managed…I breathed. And I think I closed my eyes maybe, three times. I did it without my headphones too!

The shop itself was huge with those horrible fluorescent light things. But I took my time and made sure I breathed…and stopped when I needed too. There were foreign smells and noises that usually cause me to run a mile…but I stayed with it and breathed.

I think we were in that place for about an hour!

I felt pretty depleted after we came out…but not completely overwhelmed! And I managed to purchase 2 items!

I miss doing that! And I’m going to do it again…not sure when…but I will.

To top off my outing…I went to the vege shop. Now I haven’t done that for about 4 years. My daughter or my partner have done all the shopping for all this time. Some of me sees it as natural paybacks for having done that shit for god knows how many years. But going back into the ‘war zone’ was intriguing, triumphant and unpleasant.

I’d forgotten how fast our society is. How unnecessarily busy and rude it is. And I can’t say I’ve missed that.

I was ‘tsked’ and ‘humffed’ a couple of times. Once, for the tattoos…yes, I saw you, you crinkled up old bastard. The second, was for not moving along fast enough.

But you know what…I breathed! I didn’t speed up…I didn’t run away…and I didn’t knock that old bastard out!

That was a successful outing I think!!


kpm ©


 

vinyl highlight

A good day….managed to get out of the house, into the car – back seat still – and go to the shops…breathing all the way, with all my little bits and pieces [ I’m looking forward to enjoying ‘the journey’ more, and not gripping the seat all the way…figurative and literal! ]…but I did it…

I managed 3 shops before I started looking and feeling like a possum in the headlights :)

And the best part was finding two pieces of vinyl to add to my collection! I haven’t done that in sooooo long…it feels good; real good!


kpm ©