ahhh okay … lets talk gender – trans and / or otherwise

I think I’ve written about this topic before, but possibly in amongst other ramblings and not a direct action as such … and I’m not really keen on ‘highlighting’ or repeating myself … this is more an exercise of ‘get that shit off’ve your chest now … clear your head … then respond …’

The topic being ‘transgender’ technically, but really, for Me, this has more to do with ‘difference’ and how those that ‘view’ the ‘others’, are doing that viewing and verbalising.

Why the post?

My NewsFeed at the moment is way over-populated with what I’d call ‘transgender – homosexual – difference’ abuse. And as I’m scrolling I’m thinking … ‘how the fuck did this happen … in my NewsFeed anyways’ … yes I know the ‘conversations’ (I use this term loosely) are happening … but it seems I am now in a position of having to decide on a position which I thought I had made pretty clear to anyone and everyone who asked re that positioning, and knew Me at all.

But apparently Not.

Now my bad, if I was not clear via posts and past in person conversations, so just to clarify, this is what I believe (Note: What “I” Believe … you are entitled to have differing beliefs)

  • Gender is a societal construct
  • Biology has Nothing to do with Gender

Wait … What?

Yes, I hear y’all saying …

“but gender and biology have everything to do with each other!”

Ahhh … Do they?.

You see, in my opinion, whether you put us in a dress or a clown outfit or a suit … we are still going to perform biologically, as we should, until we don’t. For biological ‘women’ that means our uterus starts to perform a monthly cycle of ovulation and period-ing; it means our breasts become equipped to fill up with milk so they can feed our off spring, if we become pregnant and give birth. Theres a whole lot more technical shit that goes on inside of us but I’m not good with technicals. You get my drift I’m sure. So how we dress, or how we act, or how we speak have absolutely no effect on how those biological happenings happen.

As a biological ‘woman’, who is now transitioning through menopause and will soon (hopefully!) cease to ovulate thusly the monthly ‘visits’ will also cease as my reproductive phase draws to an end … do I cease to be a gender identified Woman as so assigned to Me by the societal constraints? If I happen to grow a beard during that process, does this make Me a biological ‘man’? Or am I something in between?

I have personally been fighting the ‘gender constraints’ and ‘assignments’ ALL of my life, and this is the where the Feminism sort-of-kind-of fits in. Feminism has been / is my response to misogyny, and that isn’t just aimed at men! Not only has my response to being assaulted come from a biological womans perspective, it has come from a biological woman who has argued with every single cunt who has asked Me if I am a Miss, Mrs or Ms. You see, that is a gender assignment and has to do with keeping Me in the kitchen, my legs spread or a possible off limits lesbian. Crude examples I know, but you should be getting an idea of what I’m getting at.

Which brings Me to the ‘Trans’ debate.

For Me: There isn’t one.

As a biological woman who is transitioning through her natural phase of reproductivity, on to something else, I am not interested in assigning a ‘role’, or adding to what I believe is a growing prejudice that has spawned out of good old ignorance and fear, yet again.

So back to the point of this post …

I can scroll on over awkward opinions given about the ‘transitioning transgenders’, if they are opinions being shared in order to glean understanding about each other and another perspective.

I can not, and will not scroll on when it comes to blatant ‘gay – bashing’ (which by the way peoples, is So last century) and / or the degradation of a way of life and culture that you are not willing to understand and in all actuality, have not been asked to give an opinion on.

My position is:

I can’t and won’t agree with you opinions or your bigotry.

I won’t teach you. My experience is a biological womans experience. I am not a transitioning person per se, and am therefore not qualified to give a qualified opinion!

However … I won’t put up with your ignorance and bigotry and will remove You from Me and my world.

#TimesUp

  • Please Note: My only discrepancy with medical transitioning is with children. I don’t believe any child should be medicated and ‘adjusted’ so they can ‘fit in’ with a ‘Norm’. How about We change those ‘Norms’ so they can be free to be themselves, and when the time comes and they are Not children anymore, and if they still chose too, are supported in medically transitioning and empowering themselves.

<3


kpm ©


 

gender and the ‘trans’ view …

Not on purpose, but we’ve watched a couple of movies over the weekend that were about the ‘transgender movement’. One was ‘dressed as a girl’; the other was, ‘the Danish girl’. Interesting watching these with the partner, as he’s a bit of an old school homophobe, but I think that’s more to do with being ‘uncomfortable’ with the thought some guy may want his butt hole…lol…I have said to him…’dear, your hot, sure…but don’t flatter yourself’.

Now he’s had to sort of deal with some of his ideas recently…and I’ve been challenged myself. That’s because my youngest daughter and our moko share a house with a friend of hers from school…who is, by the ‘traditional’ understanding of the word, transgender…well ‘our’ description of transgender anyway. Whats interesting about hanging out with her, is that she has no confusion about who she is. When the mokos asked her whether she was a girl or a boy…she replied…’I’m human’. I like that…and the mokos liked that too…they completely understood that explanation. The partner had a little more trouble…but I think the mokos will probably teach him :).

Now that whole conversation says something for the ‘new’ climate that our kids are being raised in…if we let them. My girl is a breath of fresh air when it comes to embracing all that someone is…she has absolutely no issue with who someone is, gender wise. And I think I’d be pretty much be the same. As far as I’m concerned, its none of my god damn business what or who someone wants to be; or who they sleep with for that matter. Unless they’re assholes of course; then they can go fuck themselves…no matter who they are! And on that note…when my girl has issues with her transgender flat mate…she becomes a ‘he’…and when they are on good terms, she remains a ‘she’…funny. Such flexibility lol.

But anyway, I’m no expert on the subject, as in, I have never walked half a mile in these shoes, so can not talk about a first hand experience with the subject matter. I’m also no expert on gay ‘issues’ or the hermaphrodite ‘condition’. However, I do know I don’t like any of these terms…just saying. But that has more to do with my aversion to labelling things and people and having categories which we can neatly place ‘types’ into.

What I do know though, is my own mind.

I can understand not being able to be who I am; being stuck; being suppressed and held down. I understand wanting to be free to be what I am and not having the tools or the understanding to be able to accomplish that. I understand struggling with perceptions and mis-perceptions that would have me be something other than all that I am. I understand having my gender and sexuality attacked because it is perceived to either be a commodity or something ‘less’ than the rest. I do understand what it is to be physically trapped in a being that is the opposite to what I feel I am.

And for these reasons, the dudes in the Danish girl movie…have made it onto my very short list of peeps that I admire ;). Trail blazers, both of them. For the wife, who ‘lost’ her husband as he transitioned…and who ultimately lost her best friend because he wanted to become all that he/she was supposed to be. I found that enormously sad. But the husband; the artist; who chose to follow his heart, his insides and ended up losing his/her life…but was entirely at peace in the knowledge and physicality of being ‘whole’…that takes some extra ordinary courage…big balls, so to speak ;)

I really hope there comes a day, when we will all see the shades of every color, as a whole piece of art. You can’t have one without the other…that’s what makes it beautiful.

Well, that’s what I taught my babies…and I hope they teach their babies the same thing.


kpm ©


 

dear dude in the dress

You won’t remember me, you were more wasted than I was

Somehow I remember you though

You gave me that, are you gonna fuck with me?, look

After you came out of the toilet stall, and we collided at the basins

Having trouble standing, leaning, looking

I wore sneakers and you wore six-inch stilettos

I had just finished throwing up, you were applying lipstick

Both trying to pretend we were alright

I tried smiling, so did you

You had a penis you said, so which toilet do you choose?

You’d stood outside for ages, waiting for everyone to leave

Last time you used the mens, they raped and beat you

Even though they had penis’s too

You couldn’t walk or talk for weeks

I nodded, I understood, but I couldn’t explain

I complimented you on your dress and the legs I wished I had

Then you wobbled off, and so did I

I didn’t get to say

That ignorance raped you and ignorance beat you

It does that

But that I admired your courage and strength

To be who you are, still

To be that dude in the dress

And not give a flying fuck


kpm ©