Also the ‘new normal’: however, this one I’m finding a little harder to embrace.
While being all social and shit is awesome and I absolutely loved hanging out with my girls with zero anxiety and zero ‘fuck this shit …’ …. I am now paying the price for that. I’ve shat out my insides about half a dozen times, my stomach is nauseous as fuck, my feng shui is spinning faster than my fan and I am flat on my back staring at the ceiling and trying to be all positive and mindful and shit about how it’s pristine and white …
“but the seams of the roofing aren’t in alignment with the light fixture … and who the fuck would do that … I bet it was a man that designed that shit … I’d definitely do minimalism a whole lot better … I wonder if I should study design instead of fucking Criminology … fuck it all … ”
Yeah, so thats Me.
Not exactly the ‘mindful’ I was after, but that is also the ‘new normal’ for Me.
I guess this ‘finding myself’ aka unfucking myself – and finding my new groove is going to be a little messy.
I’ll tell you tomorrow.
Today I spotted this little fuzz ball sparrow, and he stayed still long enough for Me to take a decent photograph of of him :)
Update: What I forgot to say was … This little fellow is what ‘we’ all call a ‘common’ bird … slightly pesky … nothing particular unique about him. EVEN THOUGH: he flies – just like the other birds; he forages – just like the other birds; he makes those birdy noises – just like the other birds. However, he’s noted to be Common? I see nothing Common about him <3
Homai to Aroha
I let Go.
I didn’t want to do ‘outside’ today: it’s too peopley out there … the influx of holiday makers argh …
But … I was pondering on being all mindful and shit, wondering “what the fuck am I going to take a photo of .. fuck, should’a left this whole thing till next fucking year” … when I spotted this:
So, the photograph is a macro shot of an abstract of mine on one of our walls. It’s huge … the actual painting that is. It’s part of my story, hence the blood red ;)
But, apparently one of the first rules of thumb when painting, is don’t add a semi-gloss to an acrylic. Pfft … Fuck … I didn’t know that back then, and I still do it and don’t care.
So, what I noticed today … that I love … and still love … Is the cracks … the places where it hasn’t come together but has moved around each other to form something else … the colour that the red holds without intruding on the rest …
I guess I found beauty in the ‘imperfection’ of it.