not sure if i’ve ever talked about this bit or not: so buckle up & scroll on if need be. ps: thats my version of a trigger warning soz.
so the kiddie fucker that assaulted me as a child, was a self professed ‘white supremacist’. donning the skinhead label, he thought it was a good idea to have it inscribed in ink, on his mug. as idiotic as it sounds now, it also made for a scary as motherfucker to look at.
hindsight says: that was the point. a scared man trying to hide behind something he could relate to.
but it was his constant adolph hitler & nazi rants, that schooled my little self on what an actual racist cunt was. as my years have rolled by, i’ve heard the same rants come from some of the most unexpected places.
i learnt that the superiority of white skin and blue eyes was bred. that jews were filthy creatures that needed to be eradicated, like rats, from the earth. that hitler was the only person strong enough to have attempted and nearly achieved such a culling. i learnt that the jews that were left had infiltrated all sorts of important positions in government and were responsible for wars, killing, greed, banking fo-pars … i learnt that if hitler had achieved his goals then we would be living in a different world.
i learnt that the jews that were gassed by nazis were heard screaming and choking through the doors. that nazis laughed outside. i learnt that the clothes of those that were gassed, were infested with fleas therefore proving the filth of the jews.
i learnt that black skinned people were inferior & also needed eradication. that slavery was the beginning and should have been the ending, if hitler had been in charge. i learnt that all dark skinned people were unintelligent & a by product of some great sin committed on the earth. i learnt that my own skin was in this category & was not good for anything other than fucking and killing.
i learnt that an inverted pentagram was evil as was a goats head. that both of these could call demons who would come and tear my throat open if i was lucky, or stay around and torment the living shit out of me if i was unlucky. i learnt that anger was a tool. that violence was a pretty word for suffering.
i learnt that children were idiots. they were toys to be tortured. that small was unfortunate just because it was small. i learnt that if someone yelled loud enough then a child would cry and a bigger person felt important.
& then, i learnt that i was a jew.
& i learnt that i was a dark skinned person. a maori.
i learnt that i was a child. small. & that everyone around me was afraid of the cunt that was my uncle. so afraid were they, that they were ‘unable’ to confront him about anything. including his racist rants. his actions. his hatred.
instead it was appeased, fed & consoled.
you may have wondered why i go on about intersectionality & racism.
& this is why.
its pretty fucking hard to watch a world unfolding before me, at the moment, where all the things i was told as a child, are ideologies that are being celebrated.
xenophobia, racism, homophobia, misogyny – are not new things. but they are putrid & have no place in any society.
i learnt this shit more than 40 years ago. i had an up front, cold, cruel experience with one deranged self confessed white supremacist.
from that experience i also learnt however, that what i was told was utter bullshit. that any type of superiority is not worth the latrine its shat into. & more importantly i’ve learnt that ‘they’ are far too fucking tolerant of bigotry & way to quick to turn the other way cos it makes them feel uncomfortable.
wake the fuck up world, before history repeats itself. again.